Weekend

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Hello my darlings, happy Tuesday! How was your weekend? I had a pretty good one!

Before the real weekend could commence, Yours Truly was called upon for some filming biznizz. Now, we all know that I am no tattle tale and can hold my tongue when it comes to matters of discretion, so I will not give you the deets as to what exactly we were filming. However I’m sure that you, like me, have a good imagination and can fantasise wildly as to the story behind it. Could it be a Prison Drama? Sci-Fi? Jidaigeki?

I woke up early on Saturday and Continue reading

Scary Street Stalker – A WARNING

1307539583739_7216138There’s a Scary Street Stalker in town, kids, and he means business. We shall refer to him as SSS.

How He Operates:

Follows girls around by foot or by Ferrari. Plagues them for phone numbers so he can then text-rape and harass them incessantly.

Where He Operates:

Mostly Knightsbridge, with the street just outside TopShop and Harrod’s being particular favorites. Occasional trips down King’s Road and Fulham Road. High Street Kensington. Last seen roaming around The Dorchester…. Continue reading

One Night in Stockholm

P1100334I had to dash over to Stockholm. Why? I had to go to the dentist.

This was a great cause of amusement to my British friends who snickered in disbelief. “Why on earth would you go to another country to go to the dentist? We have perfectly good oral hygiene here!” Are you taking the fucking piss? Take a bloody look in the mirror, mate.

So I headed to Sweden in pursuit of the pearly whites. I had done my own diagnosis (Google) and come to the conclusion that my mouth was falling apart. “You don’t understand” I said severely to my long term dentist “We are dealing with disaster. I don’t care what you have to do – drill this shit like it’s a promising oil well in Texas, but I want this bitch of a mouth clean – you hear me!?” My poor dentist looked at me, frightened. “Oh, dear, this sounds serious, let’s have a look.”   “Yes. But also hear this: I want you to Continue reading

A Line

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Went for a little drink around the corner at the great little boutique Rtister. I like this store because they like to take on emerging designers with a different creative view, and last Thursday there was a little special event for newcomer A- Line. Dj Annie Mac played good tunes and the wine flowed to pacify the parched fashion peeps.

My best accessory for the evening was the ultra cute westie puppy Hendrix, who I stole from his owner Vivien. Sorry, not sorry. What could I do? He just went so well with my outfit! Continue reading

How to: Break into an Ambulance

P1070233The other day, I took a walk on the wild side and broke into an ambulance. Now, what would compel me to do such a thing? The opportunity presented itself and I fell back on my go-to argument of One Might As Well. I was on my way home from a night on the town and there it was; bright yellow, bright green, and not an Official to be seen. You’d think it’d be really hard, right, to break into such an imposing chariot of rescue? No no! Really, it was more entering rather than breaking. All you have to do is Continue reading

Little Psychology Analysis

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I spent Tuesday day/ night with my hawt Brazilian friend Caroline de Moraes. She’s an actress and TV presenter who I met just when I moved to London, through some acting gig or other, and we’ve stayed friends since. Caroline trained as a dancer, and is a real life ballerina. It’s happened a few times when we’ve gone out in the London night that I like to challenge her and force her to do Ballerina tricks in the club. Leg up! Cool, right!? She’s so bendy, it’s crazy.  Every time we meet up, I can’t stop laughing- funsiez, through and through! Caroline, or shall we call her Dr Caroline, decided to conduct a little psychology test on me. Here is what she asked me, what I answered and what it means, according to her and her…ahem…reliable sources.

C: Think of a domestic animal, your favourite domestic animal, and describe it.

A: Hmm ok, a dog! Because it’s cute and fun, it likes to play and…. you can dress it up in nice clothes if you want!

C: Think of your favourite exotic animal, describe it.

A: Peacock. It’s beautiful and fabulous, gay- friendly and rare.

C: If you could pick one food to bring to a desert island, what would it be? It doesn’t have to be nutritious, just what would you eat all the time if you could? It won’t make you fat.

A: Chocolate. If it doesn’t make me fat? Ok, yes! It doesn’t make me fat, it’s sweet and it’s decadent and not boring.

C: Ok, now close your eyes and think of a white room. Completely blank. When I tell you to, you open your eyes and say the first word that pops in your head. Now!

A: PARTY!

The Domestic animal represents how I see myself: Cute, fun, likes to play and you can dress it up nice.

The Exotic animal represents how I see my future husband: Beautiful, fabulous, gay-friendly and rare.

The food represents how I see my sex life: It doesn’t make me fat, it’s sweet, decadent and not boring.

The word in the room represents what I think my marriage will be like. Party!

Now, what can we discern from this analysis? I like to dress up, I want a gay-friendly guy, my sex life is decadent, not boring, fat reducing and my marriage will be one big party. Everyone’s invited! Oh wow…. paging Dr Freud! Think we need an emergency sesh.

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Wine Tasting—> Vodka Tasting

P1070063This weekend I went to some pretty fab restaurants and places! I went to the new Jak’s which has opened where the old nightclub Public was before. It’s huge and great for meetings and for sitting and writing on my stuff. Me and Rushina (btw, notice her fab Kabiri turban!) had a long lunch that turned into me trying to convince her not to go to some wine tasting event. I didn’t succeed, and therefore I decided to have some wine tasting of my own. I met up with some friends who invited me to tag along to a dinner with half of The London Business School. Really, how did I end up here? It was really fun though, and wine tasting turned into vodka tasting, turned into shenanigans at Loulou’s… It was a little hard to get up the next day, but the fact that we had lunch reservations at Cecconi’s made it all the more easy to drag myself up and activate the good ol’ smoke and mirrors. I love this place for lunch during the weekends- great people watching! My Sunday also took some unexpected turns, and after Cecconi’s we were off to Art’s Club, then Home House… All in all, a weekend well spent, wouldn’t you say?

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Scabies – I forbid it!

I have a friend who has a friend who started having casual sex with a super hot guy who she had no interest in dating for real: he worked at Hard Rock Cafe and he lived in a… parking lot? Park bench? Somewhere we don’t wish to go. Now, she made the classic mistake of thinking “Oh, its only sex, it’s fine”. NO NO NO! A lady may never reason like this, because it’s never just sex. And I’m not talking about feelings here. My friend of a friend walked away with way more than she bargained for, when she discovered that she had SCABIES! All over her back! (Probably because she spent so much time on it) Yeah.

(im)moral of the story: Not that I wanna stereotype but… Hard Rock Cafe = Scabies.

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Soho

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Since I live in London full time, I try to avoid the tourist traps and places with crowds. I find that crowds just don’t go with my look, you know. However, a trip down to Soho is always a good idea if you feel up for the task. I make it sound like a crazy souk- it definitely isn’t- it’s just that I’d rather go places where I can avoid Oxford Street etc altogether. Me and Aleksa went to Carnaby street to stroll around- what’s fun here is the mix of people and the fun shops! If you’re a make up freak, like me, you’ll find the flagship stores of MAC, BeneFit, Illamasqua and Make Up Store, right here in the mix. In the BeneFit store, I found a little picture urging me to “Pose”. Ha ha, allow me to lol. Does it look like I need any encouragement in that department? I fear my posing is getting outta hand, but hopefully, you can handle it- it’s all innocent, so let’s not ruin it with false modesty.

Other stores I like in this area include the little crazy fancy dress shop  SoHigh Soho on Berwick Street. I also like AQ/AQ for stylish and affordable dresses and pantsuits, on 12 Fouberts Place, and please don’t get me started on the lingerie stores… We went to Joe’s for a coffee- if you haven’t been here I totally recommend it. It’s a chain with healthy juices, coffees and sandwiches that started in Denmark, with the excellent philosophy of only employing super hot men: totally tickles my fancy. We sat there, taking shelter from the rain, when suddenly they pump up the music really loud. A super cool girl next to us gets up and starts doing some elaborate breakdance/ choreography, and we’re like “Yeah you go, I can’t dance for shit, but I’ll watch you bust a move any day!”.  Ahhh London! Everyday can be whatever you make it! #awesome

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Cartoon Hanexia

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Heey check out these cartoons Hanna made of us a while ago. What do you think? Likeness? #Hanexia

Once in New York, I met a man who was apparently a famous cartoonist. He said he wanted to “cartoon” me and make me a “superhero/villain”… hmm, doesn’t that just sound too suspicious? Well, he missed his chance. Perhaps Hanna can start a cartoon Hanexia series here for the blog instead?

Speaking of Hanexia- I think it’s high time that she gets her ass back to London now… What is she doing over there in Sweden anyway? No one really knows. Rumours as to her exact whereabouts are circulating freely, but no one really cares nothing has been verified. And I know she’s reading this, so yeah, I’m talking to You: Come back here now!

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