I must have posed for over 40 works of art for Him; films, photos, paintings, sculptures… The man is nothing if not multi faceted. Especial attention was given to the short film Dans ma Chambre/Dans ma Cherie. As is indicative by the name, it was a rather explicit encounter of me, and our sex life. But you know, all in the name of art…
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Why I’m not on Tinder pt. II

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A popular post on my blog is called “Why I’m Not on Tinder.” I guess this is because so many of us are on Tinder, or some of us just like to google “Swedish bondage sex Tinder” and “Alexicat sextreme naked pics”, therefore landing on that article. Yep, those are all SEO’s to lead you straight here. Welcome, fellow dirty degenerates! You’ve come to the right place! Continue reading

The Actor

mirror I have a friend who has a friend. Girl has a serious weakness for men of the “cliché-handsome-Hispanic” variety (think Enrique Iglesias, or Ricky Martin, before he was gay. Or after. She don’t discriminate.) One night, she attended a boring party in the countryside. Boring, boring, boring, everything boring. Until she saw The Actor. People parted to let this Adonis float through the crowd as if carried by wings of beauty. The fervent intent of his eyes, the swirl of dark hair that spoke not only of great DNA but also of exuberant use of Moroccan oil, the nonchalance with which he dismissed the other losers around him and instead zoned in on Girl – it was all just perfect. When he asked her out for dinner upon their mutual return to the Metropolis, she naturally said yes. Before the date,

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Scary Street Stalker – A WARNING

1307539583739_7216138There’s a Scary Street Stalker in town, kids, and he means business. We shall refer to him as SSS.

How He Operates:

Follows girls around by foot or by Ferrari. Plagues them for phone numbers so he can then text-rape and harass them incessantly.

Where He Operates:

Mostly Knightsbridge, with the street just outside TopShop and Harrod’s being particular favorites. Occasional trips down King’s Road and Fulham Road. High Street Kensington. Last seen roaming around The Dorchester…. Continue reading

A Scottish Nightmare

nosferatu1I have a friend who has a friend. Actually, everyone has a friend with a story of a bad date – perhaps you’ve even been on one or two yourself – but this one here deserves a special mention.

The Girl in question had decided to invest in some property in Edinburgh. Tired of the hustle and bustle of the Capital, she couldn’t wait to spread her wings and fly, like the seagulls lining the beautiful Scottish shore, into her new abode of domestic bliss.

However, she didn’t have many friends, or potential boyfriends, inhabiting this new quarter of the earth. Never one to shy away from trying something new, she thought about online dating. Yes, the odds are low for finding someone you really like – kinda like a needle in a haystack – but let’s give it a go anyway.

Bingo! She got a match immediately, with what at first glance appeared to be a not too shabby potential love interest. Tall – 6 ft.7 – a former dodgeball pro, according to his profile.

On the day leading up to the date, our girl sent him a couple of questions, to ease the tension of this first encounter. You know, standard stuff. Favourite movie? Occupation? That sort of thing. He answered and responded with a few queries of his own.

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Continue reading

Researching a Sex Addict

ALAMY_2101455bI have a friend who has a friend.  This girl is an actress, and is constantly doing research for new roles. It’s very important for every role that she’s able to get into character and really understand the psychology behind the person she is playing.

One day, her agent called her with the magic words: She got the part!

As a sex addict. Continue reading

Drugs on the first Date

MjAxMy1hYjgxMTE0OTAwZDRkZDczI have a friend who has a friend, who was spending some time in LA. He had been kind of disappointed by the lack of potential boyfriend material- where were the glamorous Hollywood guys he had been promised!? He wanted to find that perfect guy, ASAP!

Then one day, it happened. It was a true Hollywood story- He: A dark, Spanish Heir, all European delicacy and class. He: A Clark Kent with an Ivy League background and a name to be reckoned with in La-La Land- just the right shade of Rich and Famous.

They met at a dinner party at a mutual friends house and bonded over wheatgrass shots and raw vegetables. Perhaps this was the Dude he had been looking for? Wedding bells tolled in the mind of the Heir, as Clark Kent asked him out on a date, and he started to get nervous. Like, really, bloody, fucking, nervous. Like, Girl, Interrupted, nervous. What was he to do?

After consulting his most LA-chic friend Continue reading

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