The Boy had been in love with the Girl for many years. Previous incidents included him wading through a snowstorm in Belgravia after a drunken night at Tramp, to serenade her outside her house at an ungodly hour. Other tokens of affection ranged from “aesthetically pleasing” pictures of the Boy posing in the nude, to begging her to spank, gag-ball and abuse him. You see, this young Adonis had a weakness. You know the saying “The freakier, the better!”? No? Neither did she.
The years went by, and The Girl would have none of it. A chaste kiss on Cuckoo’s dance floor was all she agreed to. But when the Boy decided to move from London to study abroad for three years, their constant sexting and flirting warmed her up to the… questionable charm of his indecent requests. We all know that distance makes the heart grow fonder, so when he came back to London for one night only, to woo the living daylights out of her, she suddenly thought “What are friends for?” She took him back to her apartment, and like a good samaritan obeying the rules of S&M, she proceeded to cage, handcuff and humiliate her good friend.
When all was said and done, morning had arrived and the other people in the household were up and running- the Girl lived with her Sister and her Brother. Perhaps the night of sexual enchantment had proved too much for our Adonis, and he got a bit greedy? In any case, he now sashayed over to where the Brother was sitting drinking coffee in the living room, and started shamelessly flirting with him, unbuttoning the Brother’s shirt. The Brother broke into a sweat and panic struck his face- was he in Hell? In response to the Boy’s sudden bisexual turn, the Brother “spilled”his coffee all over himself so he was forced to go clean up (only slight burns as a result- oh, the price to pay to avoid sexual confusion!)
The Boy then zoned in on the other target. As he made for the door, he suddenly made a beeline towards the Sister and pushed her up against the wall and kissed her “seductively”. The Sister shrieked with horror and ran to the comfort of the Girl and told her about this audacity. The Mistral could only look at the Boy with eyes that said :
You greedy son of a bitch. Not only can you not decide what team to play for, but you want to… keep it in the family?
Later, the siblings would secretly reminisce about this incident and they all totally loved it. Not only did good looks run in the family, but big egos, too! Many future family dinners would be spent arguing about who the Boy came onto first.
(i)mmoral of the story: Banging a sexual deviant is just like Halloween. You never know if you’ll be tricked, treated or just scared.