A Stable Relationship

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It’s common knowledge within the horse riding community that growing up on horseback makes you a boss lady.

I was five years old the first time I sat on a horse and I knew straight away that I loved it. A year later, I had my own pony and shortly after, I started competing in showjumping.

Having your own horses, training them, caring for them and raising them teaches you many things. Leadership, empathy, organisation. Truth be told, the latter is not really my forte… but anyway!

Horseriding also teaches you how to deal with fuckboys and annoying people. Deal with them as you would an unruly horse.

  • For nipping, crowding, cribbing; a simple NO! With a stern voice (deep baritone bark for me, thank you!) may suffice.
  • If not, put a hand up in the air in a haughty manner, signalling for them to back out of your space, bitch. You may or may not be holding a whip at this point.
  • If they try to mindfuck you, kick you, cheat, or act in an altogether nasty manner, well… Further disciplinary actions must be taken. I prefer Agent Provocateur’s diamond-handled whip.

 

I very firmly advocate love, and I abhor violence, so do not take these guidelines for a reason to go out and smack a bitch up. It is merely sound advice in how to deal with your gelding fuckboy.

After all, my relationship with horses is the most stable relationship I’ve ever had, so that must count for something, right?

 

Have a fabulous day 😉

Xx Alexicat

 

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falabella ponies

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