Hanexia in Paris

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Despite it’s many charms, London can sometimes feel a bit meh! for the habitants of the glorious metropol. So what dost one do? Go to Paris, of course! I must admit I am a little bit in love with the Eurostar – it’s like an extended (more glamorous) subway. Plus, a guy sitting next to me on the way over fed me almonds. Sweet!

 

So I arrived in Paris well fed on squirrel snacks and ready to reunite with Snicky- Snacks. That’s Hanna to you, mister. Yep, she had been on family duty there all week, chaperoning two teenagers (the most responsible chaperone ever) and upon my glorious arrival she mused and marvelled at the many wonders of Disney World (Pirates of the Caribbean world! The Pretzels! The Waffles! The Rollercoaster!) So it was now time for some grown-up fun, because we’re so mature.

 

If I’m in love with the Eurostar, I’m absolutely head over heels with Paris. Not that I wasn’t before, but its just like when you’re dating someone – when you don’t see them for a while, you forget all about them. Forget what they look like. Forget what they are like. Forget that they matter at all. So this was like a sweet reunion with a long forgotten lover. And just like a long distance lover, the city decided to present itself to me in its most magnificent way – perfect weather, perfect fun!

 

There are so many places to go to, so much to see, so many people to flirt and marvel at, so where to start? As far as mini-city guides go, here’s a little selection of recommendations.

 

Palette – a super cool, ultra Parisian hangout. Authors, artists, photographers etc. Hemingway and Fitzgerald used to hang here, so it’s like, totally legit. So legit in fact, that Jean Dujardin sat next to us. (Played the lead in The Artist, but we might re-name him The Pick- Up Artist. When in Paris.)

 

Café de Flore – of course, I mean, how can you not? Great for people watching during the day, get to work on that vino.

 

L’Esplanade– Really great food, awesome lunch. Sit outside and watch beautiful people!

 

Matignon– this is as Euro as it gets (and I say that with warmth in my voice) models, bottles, hotties everywhere – trashy but fun. During dinner here, one male model complained about his choice of career because it forced him to smile too much (he didn’t like to smile) and to kiss the boys (he didn’t like that either.) He also only ate tomatoes. Well, we at least enjoyed amazing truffles, buratta, pasta – the works. This is the ultimate Euro- mingle!

 

Raspoutine– amazeballz. Love this club! It was once a bordello before becoming a Parisian hotspot. The club has the décor of a Russian opium den- all dark red velvet, chandeliers and painted windows. Hot people everywhere. Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen!

 

Bagatelle– just re-opened this Friday, and we were there to kick it off! This was seriously fun! It’s open air, so this time of year they have heaters to help against the freeze (and tons of booze, obvs) We’re told we need to come back here during the summer, as the day parties here are incroyable! The Dj spun dope music all night long and we were the last to leave. Of course.

 

Titty Twister – Like being in an awesome Tyga video. And I love me some Tyga. Punching machines, billiard tables, late late nights.

 

Strip Club – Yeah, we went to a strip club. Can’t remember the name but it was a “fancy” strip club with “posh” strippers who took offense when Hanna giggled when our wonderful and cute friend Rebecca got the world’s most awkward “lap dance.” Grown up fun.

 

MASSIVE thank you to everyone who made this weekend so special and fantastic! We had so much fun, and inevitably, Hanexia will have to come back to Paris soon. Maybe even relocate for a bit? I’ve mentioned it in passing before to ya’ll, but… the reason I’m not updating on here as frequently anymore is because I’m writing a book. Yes you heard me, a real book. So, wouldn’t it be perfect: me, scribbling away in Paris? How cliché. How wonderful!

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