Bitch Please; Read a Book

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Today is World Book Day!

Move over Valentine’s and Pancake’s, there’s a new day in town, and it’s Book Day.

With instagram taking the whole “a picture says more than a thousand words” to another level, and twitter allowing us to express ourselves with only 140 characters, wouldn’t you say it’s all a bit limiting? A lot of people find books and even longer texts daunting, boring and ain’t nobody got time for that. But I’ve always been that annoying person who’ll be like “Well, I’ve read the book and its sooo much better than the movie” like some obnoxious bitch who thinks she’s smart because she can read words that are not constructed by numbers, symbols and emoticons. Gr8 m8.

When I was a kid, thugging it on the mean streets of Östermalm, I’d lug my books with me everywhere, and I still do. Back then (in the stone age) we didn’t have smartphones, so reading was a necessity for me to keep the brain movies going, you know, instead of playing Candy Crush and sending naked pictures on Snapchat (not gonna lie, I do like one of those two). But even for a self-proclaimed bookie like me, I find it hard to take the time to read nowadays… I mean, gosh just so much intellectual stimulation and it’s everywhere, right? I tip my hat to Mr Gutenberg and I will always love a good hardback, but I think I gotta get me a kindle, to aid me in my perusal of the belles-lettres and printed wrdz, without the heavy weight of knowledge and fiction on my shoulders. Time to move on.

Speaking of Time- this morning I read about a new app that will allow you to read up to 1000 words per minute. Live fast, read fast, die fast! It’s called Spritz and it uses a technology that realigns the words in order to make it easier for the brain to process them faster. By Jove, it’ a miracle! Can’t wait to try it when it comes out, although it’s launching with Samsung Galaxy (get on it, Apple people.)

 Now a little quote from Jay Z’s immortal song Big Pimpin’

“Go read a book you illiterate son of a bitch and step up yo’ vocab                   Don’t be surprised if yo’ ho stab out with me                                                        and yo’ see us coming down on yo’ slab”

And from that we can deduct that literate men have a higher success rate with women. If you, like me, use your command of language to trick people into doing what you want/thinking that you’re smart, you know exactly what I mean here. Shameless! Well, if you’ll excuse me, now I’m gonna go and finish reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt (excellent!) but I’ll leave you with a little list of some books I find amazing/funny/worth reading. Please comment if you have any tips for good/fun reading! Xx A

Classics: 

The Master and Margarita– Michail Bulgakov

Alone in Berlin– Hans Fallada

The Picture of Dorian Gray– Oscar Wilde

A Confederacy of Dunces– John Kennedy Toole.

The Catcher in the Rye– J.D Salinger

To Kill a Mockingbird– Harper Lee

The Idiot- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Brave New World– Aldous Huxley

Contemporary:

The Wind up Bird Chronicle – Haruki Murakami

The Bad Girl – Mario Vargas Llosa

Money- A Suicide Note – Martin Amis

Skippy Dies – Paul Murray

The Wolf of Wall Street – Jordan Belfort

The Game– Neil Strauss

Lunar Park – Bret Easton Ellis

Chick- Lit:

Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier

Scruples- Judith Krantz

Bergdorf Blondes – Plum Sykes

Love in a Cold Climate- Nancy Mitford

Pride and Prejudice– Jane Austen

Sundowners – Lesley Lokko

(image of Marilyn Monroe via http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8fidsz0BH1rd6wg5o1_500.jpg )

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