One Directional Apocalyptic Craze

IMG_0815Me and my friend were sitting at a cafe together- me typing away fervently on my keyboard, she sipping a latte and acting all blasé. “Miss G”, bored out of her wits with my not-so-thrilling company, decided to hold a little Skype sesh with her beloved sister and Mother, both of whom I adore. In the midst of my very best Hunter S Thompson impression, I hear a whiny Miss G complaining “But Mom, thats so creepy, stop stalking One Direction!” Hmmm…. Does Mother G have a secret weakness?

The secret weakness turns out to be more of a secret obsession. Apparently, Mother G watches their videos and interviews every day on YouTube. She knows their tour dates, and she knows that they have a scheduled trip to Sweden soon. She also knows that she would love to have Harry Styles as her son in law, and has therefore prepared a letter addressed to the Young Man, in which she presents the eligible qualities of her own daughter, Miss G. Imagine her reaction when I lean into the conversation and break the news: “Mother G, you know I’ve met them, right?” A silence so profound that the Skype connection positively quivered with withheld tension and questions. Mother G tried to let the message sink in. It was all a bit much, so she declared- “I can’t believe it…. Shiver me timbers! It can’t be true!” Yes Mother G, its true!

I then told her the fairytale story how it had all happened, on a warm summer eve, in the heart of Marelybone… I was walking down a street, when suddenly I heard something otherworldly- a choir of cherubs, with milk and honey voices, seductive enough to make even the most reluctant fool blush, but with an innocent quality to hint at the presence of Angels walking amongst mortals. It was One Direction- gliding up on each side of me, actually serenading me! What an absolute dream! I looked at them with a coy and suggestive smile- should we…maybe….could we…Yes we should, take a picture that is. Their sour looking manager obliged with a sigh and a look that said “Oh God, here we go!” – and wasn’t he right! The moment we’d snapped our picture, it was like the whole street erupted in some kind of One Directional apocalyptic craze! Girls emerged from thin air, grabbing, nagging and stabbing at the boys with their cameras. I parted from the Beautiful Boys with a friendly smile and “See you soon again.” That wasn’t really a verbal agreement, more like a promise between four souls… that had just the luck to run into each other on an ordinary street, on an ordinary day, in London. And of course, I made a promise to Mother G that the next time I meet them, I’ll send them her regards.

Oh, and if you wanna stalk One Direction, the boys are playing in London Friday 6th of June- Sunday 8th of June.

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