I spent Tuesday day/ night with my hawt Brazilian friend Caroline de Moraes. She’s an actress and TV presenter who I met just when I moved to London, through some acting gig or other, and we’ve stayed friends since. Caroline trained as a dancer, and is a real life ballerina. It’s happened a few times when we’ve gone out in the London night that I like to challenge her and force her to do Ballerina tricks in the club. Leg up! Cool, right!? She’s so bendy, it’s crazy. Every time we meet up, I can’t stop laughing- funsiez, through and through! Caroline, or shall we call her Dr Caroline, decided to conduct a little psychology test on me. Here is what she asked me, what I answered and what it means, according to her and her…ahem…reliable sources.
C: Think of a domestic animal, your favourite domestic animal, and describe it.
A: Hmm ok, a dog! Because it’s cute and fun, it likes to play and…. you can dress it up in nice clothes if you want!
C: Think of your favourite exotic animal, describe it.
A: Peacock. It’s beautiful and fabulous, gay- friendly and rare.
C: If you could pick one food to bring to a desert island, what would it be? It doesn’t have to be nutritious, just what would you eat all the time if you could? It won’t make you fat.
A: Chocolate. If it doesn’t make me fat? Ok, yes! It doesn’t make me fat, it’s sweet and it’s decadent and not boring.
C: Ok, now close your eyes and think of a white room. Completely blank. When I tell you to, you open your eyes and say the first word that pops in your head. Now!
The Domestic animal represents how I see myself: Cute, fun, likes to play and you can dress it up nice.
The Exotic animal represents how I see my future husband: Beautiful, fabulous, gay-friendly and rare.
The food represents how I see my sex life: It doesn’t make me fat, it’s sweet, decadent and not boring.
The word in the room represents what I think my marriage will be like. Party!
Now, what can we discern from this analysis? I like to dress up, I want a gay-friendly guy, my sex life is decadent, not boring, fat reducing and my marriage will be one big party. Everyone’s invited! Oh wow…. paging Dr Freud! Think we need an emergency sesh.