Why I’m not on Tinder

Tinder-logoCall me old school, but there’s just something about these dating apps that seems highly unappealing to me.

The reason I’m reluctant to try it is a direct response to listening to all my guy friends talk about the girls on it. How it’s “just a sex app” (funny I don’t know any guys who have gotten laid from it?) and how the girls who are on there are desperate. Yet, they’re all trying to convince me to get it… I know you boys think I need to date more, but is Tinder really the answer?

The way the guys speak about the girls on Tinder directly contradicts what I hear from my girlfriends. They are all overwhelmed by the amount of Good Guys on there and loads of them have found, if not boyfriends, then at least something more….substantial. They too, are all trying to convince me to get it.

I will be the first one to admit, that I am slightly addicted to Tinder; however, I live vicariously through my friends on it. It’s fun to sit on my friends phone, looking through the possible “soul mates” and see loads of guys that I know on there… Yeah, it’s fun. But would I want my guy friends to see me on there? But who cares, anyway?

One girlfriend who has been on loads of Tinder dates has become weary of dating via the app. Why? All the guys she’s met from Tinder have had really small hands. Seriously. I’m like, why the hell do you think they’re on Tinder? She’s now started secretly “measuring” the guys’ hands so she can report back to us just how tiny the hands are.

In St Barth’s this Christmas, my guy friends were frequently on the app. We were surprised at the type of girls who came up. I wish now I would have screen shot some of them- they had us all asking “But surely these girls are not on the island… Is it counting the girls from the hooker district on St Marteen?” With a few exceptions. The exceptions were all real life lingerie models.

I once went on a date with a guy I “met” on Facebook. Definitely one of the biggest catastrophes ever- the guy turned out to have been the “star” of some utterly disastrous reality show (note- always google people you’ve never met before you go on a date with them…unless they come recommended by a mutual friend). My friend went on a date with a guy from asmallworld once, also a total joke… It feels like people who try to date using online tools always have something to hide, or they have severe social skill problems. With Tinder however, it feels more like a game. One friend describes it as “An addiction. It becomes a compulsion to see who you get a match with. It’s an ego boost too. The thing is also that when you see that they are there, so close to you, around the corner, it becomes more physically real.”

What do you think? Have YOU tried it?

(photo via http://infospace.ischool.syr.edu/files/2013/01/Tinder-logo.jpg)

4 responses

  1. Pingback: Why I’m not on Tinder « Alexia Bergstrom | TinderNews

  2. Pingback: Why I’m not on Tinder pt. II « the Alexicat

  3. I recently got to know a guy from Tinder, we’ve exchanged phone numbers and are chatting casually. However, I’ve never really dated anyone in real life, and sauntered into this online dating thing just because I was curious. Fast forward a few days later, and I am talking to this guy, (who, by the way, looks pretty hot), and share similar interest. however, I just feel weird talking to him and stressed whenever I talk to him. I have already avoided meeting up with him in real life, as I’m pretty afraid, and am VERY overwhelmed with everything that’s happening right now. Part of me regrets this whole phone number exchanging thing and the nice girl in me feels that I shouldn’t ignore his messages…

    I might however, in the near future, cut him out from my life, as I don’t think I’m ready to meet him yet, and if he keeps pushing. But this is definitely a learning experience for me.

    • Hi Kimberley. What is it about this guy that makes you feel uncomfortable? Is it the fact that you only know him virtually and would be afraid of what he might turn out to be like in real life, or is it anything he’s said that stressed you out? Dating or meeting someone online can be fun as it feels less ‘real’ than real life situations, but it also allows a person to present a version of themselves that may not always be entirely in line with the truth. However, I’m not saying that it’s a bad idea – you say that you havent dated anyone “in real life” yet, why is that? Perhaps this could be a nice way for you to meet up with someone, in an environment where you feel safe, after a longer period of getting to know this person online. You say that he keeps pushing, to meet you? Never do anything you dont feel entirely safe with and always let friends and family know where you are going to meet this person, if you do decide to meet up. Perhaps you could even bring a friend with you!? Have you let him know your apprehension about meeting up? Thank you for sharing and I hope you have a beautiful Tuesday! xx Alexia

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