20 Betchy Reasons why I Love St Barths

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  1. I love that this is pretty much the only place in the world where I can drive. Why? There are like, no rules (my best kind of rules)
  2. I love that I can have rose with every meal. Minuty, please.
  3. I love the way the planes land. On. A. Fucking. Beach.
  4. I love that when you’re out cruising in your car, suddenly the smell of weed can seep in through your AC.
  5. I love that I know what beaches to go to and when, so I can tan topless without all of YOU seeing it.
  6. I love that I can go and have a planters punch at Le Select for 2euros with all the locals, listening to live Calypso, before heading to private party on a yacht. Best of both worlds!
  7. I love that there is the mix of the European laissez faire and the American hustle and bustle. It turns: Let’s do this! Let’s do that! Into: Yeeeah, lets do that! Yeeaah, we’ll do whatever we want! Si tu veux!
  8. I love that some asshole once brought a Lamborghini here, but couldn’t drive it because of the roads- FAIL! Jeep it up, bitch.
  9. I love that I can dress like Barbie without people looking at me like I’m an LP (Luxury Prostitute)
  10. I LOVE the parties. Love.
  11. I love getting dressed up at Le Ti. More pirates for everyone!
  12. I love that I am leaving this island with some new clothes. This can mean trouble with overweight etc. So, let’s just take a moment to discuss this: I am at the airport in St Barth’s right this minute, and I was just asked to step onto the scale, along with my hand luggage to check if the total weight was “overweight”. Fabulous! Rest of the world, take note! Why should I pay overweight for my clothes and bags, but a fat person doesn’t have to pay for being fat?
  13. I love that you can sit next to Paul McCartney at lunch at Do Brazil. Ain’t no thang.
  14. I love meeting new people- everywhere!!
  15. I loooooove the beaches/ bitches.
  16. I love that I once got mistaken for Lady Gaga by the paparazzi. Oh wait, I don’t love that. Or, yes I do. Whatever.
  17. I love French Pharmacies. I am leaving like Florence fucking Nightingale.
  18. I love that this is the kind of place you can be a hippie and a jet setter all at once. I could so see myself growing really old here and just living island life… and then when all the crazies come over Christmas, I’ll be your rock n roll grandma who throws the best after parties.
  19. I love that there is so much love on this island, and that I get to share it each year with my family!
  20. I love that every single person from back home is NOT coming here… oh wait a minute, perhaps I should stop telling you how much I love this place? All of the above is a lie. The place is awful.

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